I was recently talking to a friend about two types of people in this world: a person who turns to a miserable existence after tragedy strikes and chooses to live in hate and anger and a person who wishes to see the best in life and chooses to live in peace and acceptance even after tragedy strikes. He was speaking to how amazed he is with how I am always smiling and laughing, despite the hurt and loss that I have faced. I told him that what has happened in this life for me and my family, what we have faced over the last 16 years, could break me, or make me stronger. I chose to be made strong. I want to love life and be thankful.
I want to see the beauty that surrounds me. I want to love others and build relationships with those who enter my life. I think that without a faith in God, believing that life has a greater purpose than just an earthly one, is what truly gives me strength to get through the day and trust again – to open up and let others in. I think I would struggle, holding on to anger and building walls, instead of tearing them down, if I didn’t believe that everything – the good and the bad – all happens for some reason, and if there is evil causing the bad, God will find some way to make it have purpose.
My sister still holds on to her anger – when we were kids she was always bitter and there was always something attacking her from the inside and I think she has never let go of the anger of losing our mom – now she holds the anger from 16 years ago and lets it fester with the hurt she feels from losing our sister 2 and a half years ago. There are so many times I wish I could help her tear down the walls to let people in and so she could heal – to see the good and not just the bad in everything.
We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same. Choose to be strong and you’ll see that you can be happy.